How to figure out if your imposter syndrome is holding you back? When the stories you tell yourself keep repeating the patterns in your life.
This post is about mindset struggles. Everyone goes through them but I want to talk specifically from the perspective of an entrepreneur. I’ve been a serial entrepreneur since 2001 and have had a few mindset struggles – some have been easier to get over while others have been hard.
In my twenties, I assumed the stress of running a business was causing my highs and lows. Running a business with many employees is hard! I felt responsible for each one of them. When I started interacting more with other women entrepreneurs and noticed they had similar experiences, that’s when I realized my highs and lows weren’t just stress-related, these were mindset-related thought patterns!
Luckily I’ve had a reliable team that’s done its part and supported the business while I was battling my demons. It gets harder for solopreneur or startups without teams.
Common Issues
Most entrepreneurs suffer from the imposter syndrome or the feelings of being unworthy of success. The more you put yourself out there, the more these feelings surface. Knowing that these feelings are false and believing them to be false are two different things. I can repeat this as an affirmation or a mantra every day but it will take
Some people get over these negative thoughts and patterns quickly because they’re further ahead in their journey of self-discovery and improvement. They likely know their triggers well and have developed techniques to shut down that nagging voice.
Funnily enough, I thought I had worked on this before. Now I know I didn’t work enough! Good thing is that I know I’ll get past this and these stories are untrue. However, knowing and believing it are different things. How long it will take is anyone’s guess. But I’m an Aries and if my brain wants a fight, then it’s going to get one!!!
I recently gave a funny name to my nagging negative voice – it helps me remember it’s just a voice that’s stuck in the past and not real! It also makes me smile every time it rears its negativity. Tiny revenge that I enjoy.
Our minds, negative behavior patterns, and all the other stories are layers that have to be peeled slowly. It’s a journey where sometimes I feel I’m on top of the world and other days I feel like there’s a dark cloud hanging over me. It’s literally crushing and leaves me unable to do much.
This is followed by sheer guilt of not doing what I intended to do that day – which plays into the negative story again. It’s a pattern that started in the last 3 or 4 months. It’s a struggle and I feel writing a journal helps get all the jumbled emotions out but writing in the journal is for me another thing on the to-do list! I don’t do it daily but when I do, it makes a difference.
So what does all this mean?
It means to find a way to unburden and not let it get to a point where it gets crushing. It means to write a journal every day. Meditate daily. Record affirmations to play 2 or 3 times a day. It means there is a way to get past it but you need to work at it with intention. There’s no slacking in this even though your mind will tell you it’s alright to skip today – it wants to keep you in the dark so don’t let it control you!
I had struggled with this years ago and I thought I was over it because I’d dealt with it. In reality, it will take time to peel away more layers and sometimes it will feel like you already dealt with it but you’re getting deeper and deeper towards the root cause of the problem. As I said it takes time, patience, and intention to commit to your personal growth wherever it takes you.
Yes, it’s scary but it’s crucial.
And now, the more I learn, the more I want to overcome it. And these are things that are rooted in false stories that our brain tells us.
In my case my negative mind wants me in limbo – always working hard with unrealistic deadlines, always working and rushing to meet those deadlines, and eventually failing because they’re unrealistic, to begin with.
For me, the trigger is when I have a million things on my to-do list and a lack of sleep. Knowing that today I only accomplished three of them while I still have 10 more to go. So instead of feeling amazing that I did three, it’s a feeling of “I didn’t do enough” or “I’m so behind”.
It tells me I’m not good enough that I need to, learn more, does more, get better. I agree there’s always more to learn but don’t ignore all my experience, education, skills, and years of practical know-how!!
I know I have the skill set, experience and knowledge to teach the topics I’ve chosen yet my mind tells me I’m not good enough but I’ll improve if I do this new course or buy this new template or get this new funnel or something else. This shows a deeper issue.
What helped me?
I’m a God-centric spiritual person who prays 5 times a day and I feel honored and humbled to be called to that. This keeps me grounded and full of gratitude. Gratitude is a life changer and I’ve seen how it changed my life.
I’ve been trying a few other things as well – some are immediate uplifters and others work on the subconscious mind so aren’t obvious in their results until months later (or so I’m told).
One of the quick uplifters that really works (and I now have on my fridge as a quick reference) is a list of all my qualifications. From certificates, degrees, diplomas, workshops, seminars, and programs I’ve completed over the years that have taught me all that I know. Afterward, put an estimate on the amount of money invested in this education. This number is in thousands of dollars (well over $150,000 in my case).
Now whenever this negative talk starts, I look at this list. I knew my qualifications (obviously) but we undervalue ourselves (women especially). I was honestly surprised by how long my list is. (Credit for this technique goes to Lisa Simone Richards).
Another technique I recently learned is to name this negative voice. The idea is to name it and recognize it as someone other than your thoughts and to have a dialogue with this voice. You can tell her to shut up or debate with her. Heads up: Do it in private otherwise people will think you’re nuts!
Other Aspects To Consider
Women have to deal with the moods that go with their menstrual cycle. This can mean ups and downs that affect our mental and physical health. Ever notice how there are days during your cycle that you’ll be extremely energetic and then there are other days when you want to curl up in bed and not talk to anyone?
This isn’t woo woo, it’s a fact that we often don’t acknowledge. So what do we do about it? And how do you manage this kind of thing? As a business owner, you should know that you will have these struggles, you will have to create a calendar that takes your cycle into account – make it easier on yourself this way.
You can achieve true success when you have a positive and abundant mindset. Until you deal with the mindset issues, which are usually childhood observations or experiences. You will keep getting these false stories repeated to you without even being aware of them.
If you haven’t read this article (Mind Tricks Vs Intuition) it gives insights into how our mind controls us without our knowledge. Knowing that is the first step. I know all that and still, I’m struggling because there are deeper issues I must address. I’m working on them as we speak. I’m told it takes 21 days to condition our subconscious mind through various tricks. And it takes 66 days to see a change…I’ll write about that when I get to that point.
Knowing what triggers this negative thought pattern is very important. For example, is it closer to your period, is it when someone is critical, or is it something else? It could be anything from overwhelm, stress, lack of sleep, or it could even be a long to-do list. Whatever it is, you have to figure it out.
For me, the trigger is when I have a million things on my to-do list and a lack of sleep. Knowing that today I only accomplished three of them while I still have 10 more to go. Instead of feeling great that I achieved three, it’s a feeling of “I didn’t do enough” or “I’m so behind”.
What this teaches me is that celebrating small successes is important for my well-being. Once that negative thought pattern starts about how I can’t do this, then even genuine reasons for delay feel like excuses for “being a failure”. That’s it. It’s unfair. It’s ridiculous. And I know it. If I think about it logically, I know it’s nonsense. But as I said earlier, knowing and believing are different things!
So, this is what I wanted to highlight today – my struggle! I have to work at it, there’s no magic solution. I have to adapt techniques that work for me. It’s a process and I have a long way to go but I’m a work in progress…It’s time we all talked about mindset struggles openly and help each other overcome them rather than stigmatize an obvious problem. Let’s be clear – mindset struggles aren’t self-created!
If you have similar experiences or have techniques that work for you – I’d love to hear from you.
Watch video about “Knowing your triggers to master your success mindset”
